Roller Coaster Ride!

Playtime on the floor!


Getting ready to go!

I feel like I'm on a never-ending roller coaster. The up's and the down's, the times where your breath is literally taken away, the times you see ahead that you can pause for a quick rest. Here I am being blatantly honest with all of you again. I've had many good days this past week. My way of thinking at times I realize kind of parallels my three-year old's way of thinking. Douglas has added a new imaginary friend to the family and his name is "Jeffrey." Jeffery gets blamed for a lot of things! Ha, ha. Douglas is a very creative and imaginative boy. He pretends well! I realize that I like to do the same thing. I like to pretend that there is absolutely nothing wrong with Alayna and I do a pretty good job of it when I'm at home and in my own surroundings. However, situations like taking her to therapy today sends me back with a huge reality check that I don't like to confront at times. It's like getting hit with a freight truck over and over. I've got to learn to work through this. As I drove home tears ran down my face with absolutely no effort at all. My mind races and I think about a lot of different things. God answered my prayer and gave me a baby girl. But I question him and myself. Was I not specific enough? Did you not hear me clearly? I wanted a healthy, baby girl. I admit, I'm scared. I've been very blessed in my life and only want Alayna to enjoy the same things that I've had the opportunity to enjoy. The road is long and I only see it getting tougher as she gets older. Where will I scrape up enough energy for tomorrow, the next month, the next year? Where will I get the strength to meet this challenge every day of our lives? I saw a crying baby in Wal-mart tonight. The parents seemed very frustrated. I smiled at that baby. I wanted to whisper in their ear that I'd trade our situation for the most colicky, crying baby of all time. I've got lots to work through, but they always say time will heal all wounds. Trust in the Lord....I will.

Don't get me wrong, Alayna is doing good. But it's hard to swallow the fact that she isn't going to be sitting up anytime soon. We are battling a flat head, like most babies do. The thing is most babies are able to sit by themselves in another month and they grow out of it and it doesn't become a concern. This may not be the case for Alayna and the mention of a helmet makes me cringe. Just another "non-typical" thing to deal with. We're not to this point yet and I pray we won't have to use it. We need to continue working with her at home. She tends to over extend her arms at the elbows and we need to make sure that she doesn't. Her legs are the strongest. Getting her head up off the ground takes alot of work for her. She is a good sport the entire time and cooperates with all the moving around.

I'm so proud of Alayna! She has met some milestones! She has found her hands and likes to occassionally suck on them! She also is recognizing her bottle and will voluntarily open her mouth for it. When I feed her veggies and fruit and she sees the spoon coming at her, she will also open her mouth. She is a very verbal baby and that means so much for communication. Alexis, Drake, and Douglas love her and are always trying to give her hugs and kisses. They sometimes get a bit close and she doesn't seem to mind at all. I think she enjoys the attention and just knows that they are her siblings. She is also becoming more tickleish and she is close to giggling when you squeeze her thighs. Alayna is enjoying play time more too. She likes for you to hold toys in front of her, especially her dolls, and she smiles at them.

I spoke to her pediatrician tonight for 25 minutes. He is so nice. We've decided to continue her on Prevacid. She is still spitting up, but it won't hurt her to take the medicine. He will be contacting me soon because Alayna has to have an ultrasound of her kidneys and bladder to check for scarring. It's a 3 month follow-up after being discharged from Peoria. He is going to also check on support groups for parents with kids with deletion syndromes and get in touch with a few of his other parents that have children with similar conditions. That would be great for me!